Post-its

Here are some things I could have invented: felt-covered Buddhas, raglan t-shirts, Live-Journals, rotoscoping, vegan leather, Tivo and cialis.
I just watched Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion, in preparation for my own 5th year. My life somewhat parallels theirs. Since I graduated from high school, I have lost weight, graduated from college, got into a grad school, got a cooler haircut, hipper clothes, and also acquired a love for punk and underground music. I even have an interracial girlfriend. I have every reason to go back and see what my status-seeking colleagues have been up to. Unfortunately, I don't have any unrequited love to look forward to meeting (they were in a different class).
How do you know if mustard goes bad? Would it taste even funnier?